Citizen Advocacy of Washington County

Good Bye Elsie!

My partner Elsie passed away this past July. Many may remember her as the aging, 85 year-old, classy, dresser who used a walker. She will also be remembered as someone who could really “kick up her heels” on the dance floor at Birdhouse Boogie or a last year’s 25th Anniversary Celebration in Hartford. She wasn’t famous and won’t be remembered by many; but I lost a very valued friend and support person in my life. Elsie made a difference in my life as well with my immediate and extended family, friends, paid support staff, and even strangers we met on our outings -- like the Santa whose lap she sat on a few years ago on a bet from me.

I set out to help and improve the quality of HER life. I never expected she would impact and bless my life forever. It didn’t take long to need each other. We laughed. We cried. Many times we laughed so hard we cried. We shared concerns and experiences. Sometimes we silently shared the same space, comfortable just keeping each other company. As a single, previously lonely woman, she beamed when we were assumed to be mother and daughter. At her funeral a distant relative thanked me for being thedaughter she never had.

Diane, one of Elsie’s favorite nurses, said that Elsie asked her how she could ever pay me back for all I did for her. Diane responded, “Just love her.” And love me unconditionally she did.

She was always there, accepting and loving me just as I am with all my strengths and weaknesses. What a gift she gave me!

Elsie taught me many things like being more patient with myself and others, valuing the past, slowing down at least once in a while and enjoying the moment. She even taught me to say “goodbye, until we meet again.”

LynnDee Murphy

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